Woke up a little after 3 AM. No alarm, no noise—just woke up. Stared at the ceiling for a bit. A sliver of light came through the gap in the curtains—streetlight. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I just lay there. My mind started drifting.
What was I thinking about? All sorts of things. Whether next week's orders would ship on time—Old Zhang said it was fine, but I still ran through it in my head. That client who said "we'll think about it" at the last meeting—wonder what they decided. The screenshot Gu Qichi posted in the group chat the other day, the client saying "you guys are reliable." It felt good to read that. The feeling lasted for a while, then faded. I've got a supplier meeting in another city next month. Passed by the market two days ago and saw someone selling persimmons. Thought about buying some, didn't. Don't know why. A distant relative I haven't contacted in months—should I call them over the holidays? Thought about the future. Thought about things from years ago.
Sometimes when you wake up in the middle of the night, your brain just starts running. You think about everything. You can't figure any of it out, but you can't stop either. I don't drink, so I don't have the option of "have a glass and go back to sleep." So I just lay there until the sky slowly started to lighten.
When morning came, all those things I'd been turning over in the dark felt manageable. Not solved, exactly. They just got smaller in the daylight.